As some of you know, back in July I put up a couple of posts entitled "The Journey". I have not continued it for several reasons. Chief among them is the next part. It talks about what we were going through when we began to learn something was not as we expected it to be.
Some of you will have seen the email that is posted below. If you have not, I have finally convinced myself to post it because it is a story that can help others see that they are not alone in how they are reacting to finding out difficult news about their children.
"Howdy,
As all of you know, Tara and I have been attending our regular appointments for our baby girl Laura. These appointments have all been nothing but good to great news, until today.
Today at our regular appointment, Dr. Plavidal saw an enlarged ventricle in the left hemisphere of Laura’s brain. This caused him great concern. So much so, that he sent us to a specialist. The specialist, Dr. Kirshon, found an additional enlarged ventricle in the right hemisphere of Laura’s brain. When he took a look at Laura’s heart, he also saw a defect there. These two conditions combined, caused Dr. Kirshon great concern. Dr. Kirshon then told us the different possible scenarios about what is going on and what the cause might be.
The first scenario is that there is a defect on either the 13th or 18th chromosomal pair. This is the worst case scenario, because if this is the cause then Laura’s life is not viable. This scenario has us both scared out of our minds. Especially, since there is nothing that can be done. There is no surgery, pills or treatment that can fix her. Once she is born she will not have long to live.
The second scenario, is that there is a defect on the 21st chromosomal pair. In this scenario, Laura will have Down’s Syndrome. This is not all bad, as she will be a loving, happy child all of her life. How many of us wish we could be that lucky.
In the third scenario, the defect is on any of the other chromosomal pairs. If this is the case, a minor surgery will be done once she is born to repair the affected areas and she will have a long healthy life. We are holding on to this scenario, because rest of her development is right where it should be. Brain size, heart activity, head size, torso size and arm and leg development are all in line with a child in her 27th week of gestation. There is no clubbing of the hands or feet. There is nothing unusual about her head or face. Although these are secondary and we do not have a medical reason, we are hoping they are good signs for this third and least likely scenario.
To determine what the cause is, we had Dr. Kirshon do an amniocentesis. This will allow the doctors to see if it is a chromosomal defect causing these conditions. We should have the preliminary results before the weekend. We will get the final results in a few weeks. Dr. Kirshon has also arranged for us to have an echo cardiogram done. This will give us a better look at her heart, which will enable us to see what exactly is wrong so we can plan out the proper treatment. This will be done in two to three weeks. We are waiting to hear from Texas Children’s Hospital to find out when the appointment is.
We know that God has Laura’s entire life in His hands. We know that He will not put her, or us, through anything we cannot handle. We know that worrying does not add one more day to our lives. We know that He knows our hearts and our minds better that we do. We also know that when His people pray He hears it and He moves mightily. That is why we are asking for all of you to pray. Pray for Tara and I as we are emotional wrecks right now. We bounce form acceptance to terrified to blaming ourselves for what is going on with Laura. Please pray that He surrounds us and wraps us in His love, comfort and support. Please pray for the doctors that they are able to determine what the cause of these conditions are, so we can plan the best course of treatment. And most importantly, please pray that God protects our precious girl."
The above happened on March 25, 2009.
Just for dramatic affect I am going to wait until tomorrow to post the next part of the journey.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Getting back to a routine.
Well, we have been home for about a week now. In some ways it seems longer. In some ways it seems like only a few days. Laura is doing great. She either sleeps, or demands to be the center of attention.
As I have said in a previous post, this is new territory for Tara and I. Neither one of us wants the spot light. But all is good.
I am still amazed at how much more active she is than before the surgery. Everyday, she is awake a little longer than the day before. Everyday she fight sleep a little harder. This is going to make the coming years very interesting to say the least.
We had our first visit with Laura's E.C.I. therapist this morning. Liegh was very impressed with Laura's suck. This is big news, because as most of you know for almost a month before Laura's heart surgery she was feeding mostly through her NG tube. She just tired out so quickly when she would try to bottle feed. Tara and I kept doing Laura on her exercises as best we could once she was on the NG tube completely. We are hoping it will pay off soon.
Our plan, and Leigh agrees, is to start slow. We are continuing Laura's exercises from before her surgery. We are also putting a little of her food in just the nipple (not giving her a bottle yet) and letting her get used to that. The down side to exclusive NG Tube feeding is that Laura (and most others who have to be tube fed) develop a food aversion. That means they either do not like the taste of food of the feel of it in their mouths. Another weird idea to me, as I believe eating is a very good thing. On top of the food aversion, we are trying to get Laura past a bad gag reflex as well. So these are our current challenges.
Some of you may have noticed there is a new web site in the list. The Oley Foundation is a nonprofit that tries to provide support for families who have a member that must be tube fed. I checked out their web site, and they have some good information out there.
So we are home. We are feeding every three hours. She is more active and more motivated. She tracks with eyes much better. When she focuses on you she actively tries to interact with you. She makes sounds, smiles (all the time now) and just seems to be enjoying life. Tara and I are very happy that she is doing so well. We thank God daily.
Finally, Welcome Nathanael Miller to the world. Congratulations to Rachel, Matt, Gabriel and Jonathan on finally getting to bring the newest addition to the family home.
As I have said in a previous post, this is new territory for Tara and I. Neither one of us wants the spot light. But all is good.
I am still amazed at how much more active she is than before the surgery. Everyday, she is awake a little longer than the day before. Everyday she fight sleep a little harder. This is going to make the coming years very interesting to say the least.
We had our first visit with Laura's E.C.I. therapist this morning. Liegh was very impressed with Laura's suck. This is big news, because as most of you know for almost a month before Laura's heart surgery she was feeding mostly through her NG tube. She just tired out so quickly when she would try to bottle feed. Tara and I kept doing Laura on her exercises as best we could once she was on the NG tube completely. We are hoping it will pay off soon.
Our plan, and Leigh agrees, is to start slow. We are continuing Laura's exercises from before her surgery. We are also putting a little of her food in just the nipple (not giving her a bottle yet) and letting her get used to that. The down side to exclusive NG Tube feeding is that Laura (and most others who have to be tube fed) develop a food aversion. That means they either do not like the taste of food of the feel of it in their mouths. Another weird idea to me, as I believe eating is a very good thing. On top of the food aversion, we are trying to get Laura past a bad gag reflex as well. So these are our current challenges.
Some of you may have noticed there is a new web site in the list. The Oley Foundation is a nonprofit that tries to provide support for families who have a member that must be tube fed. I checked out their web site, and they have some good information out there.
So we are home. We are feeding every three hours. She is more active and more motivated. She tracks with eyes much better. When she focuses on you she actively tries to interact with you. She makes sounds, smiles (all the time now) and just seems to be enjoying life. Tara and I are very happy that she is doing so well. We thank God daily.
Finally, Welcome Nathanael Miller to the world. Congratulations to Rachel, Matt, Gabriel and Jonathan on finally getting to bring the newest addition to the family home.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
The latest info
Yesterday, Laura had a check up with her Cardiologist after being home only 4 days
I could not think of a better way to present this information than how my wife, Tara, put it in an email earlier today. That is right, I am blatantly stealing from my wife.
"I cannot express how deeply thankful Marcus and I are to each of you for your prayers for Laura. We truly believe in the power of prayer.
Laura is doing very well. She had a great checkup yesterday with the cardiologist. Her lungs are still a little wet, but not congested. The medication will continue to improve this. She weighs 13lbs. and is 22.5” long, and is such a wiggle worm! She is definitely going to keep us on our toes.
Laura still needs the feeding tube, while she works on bottle feeding. This is a slow process, because she has a very sensitive gag reflex. Please pray that we will be successful with this."
In addition to the above information, Laura also had her stitches out yesterday. She did not enjoy this process. However, she did calm down once they were out.
Laura is much more active now. This is both fun and challenging. Challenging because we find our selves ducking and dodging legs and feet during diaper changes. Nothing like getting kicked while trying to change your daughter.
She smiles constantly, which just melts our hearts. The bottom line is that she is just to cool for words.
I could not think of a better way to present this information than how my wife, Tara, put it in an email earlier today. That is right, I am blatantly stealing from my wife.
"I cannot express how deeply thankful Marcus and I are to each of you for your prayers for Laura. We truly believe in the power of prayer.
Laura is doing very well. She had a great checkup yesterday with the cardiologist. Her lungs are still a little wet, but not congested. The medication will continue to improve this. She weighs 13lbs. and is 22.5” long, and is such a wiggle worm! She is definitely going to keep us on our toes.
Laura still needs the feeding tube, while she works on bottle feeding. This is a slow process, because she has a very sensitive gag reflex. Please pray that we will be successful with this."
In addition to the above information, Laura also had her stitches out yesterday. She did not enjoy this process. However, she did calm down once they were out.
Laura is much more active now. This is both fun and challenging. Challenging because we find our selves ducking and dodging legs and feet during diaper changes. Nothing like getting kicked while trying to change your daughter.
She smiles constantly, which just melts our hearts. The bottom line is that she is just to cool for words.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Home Sweet Home
Well we have been home now for three entire days and most of the afternoon last Thursday. What a relief. Laura is still on about 5 billion medications. Well not really just 5. Two are to help her heart pump a little easier (Lasiks twice a day and Captopril 3 times a day). She is also on asprin to help with blood pressure and zantac to try to control reflux. She also is is on Tylenol as needed for any residual pain from her heart surgery.
Short post today because I have to start getting us ready for her doctor's appointment. I will try to post more later.
Short post today because I have to start getting us ready for her doctor's appointment. I will try to post more later.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
The Bionic Child . . .
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding
In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path"
Proverbs 3; 6 - 6
Ever since Laura's surgery was first described to us, I have pictured Steve Austin the Bionic man. I have repeatedly heard the narrator's commentary during the open sequence. He would generally say something like "We can rebuild him. We can make him faster, and stronger. We have the technology."
After seeing Laura yesterday with all of the tubes in her, that thought has been nothing but more prevalent. However, today they started removing those tubes. She still has many of them, but having two or three less makes it seem like she is almost back to normal. She still has many tubes in her (mostly to drain fluids that the body might excrete as a result of her surgery), but they continue to come out. The doctors think that they might transfer Laura from the C.V.I.C.U. tomorrow to the normal recovery floor.
What is really cool, is that she is already moving and squirming and wiggling like she was before the surgery. She actually started yesterday evening. The doctors are very impressed and proud of how quickly she is bouncing back. All I can say to this is, God is awesome.
Tara and I are very excited about this. You see we were worried that because of some unknown factor (bad reaction to a drug, defective bypass) that she might suffer brain damage, or some other set back, that would change her very sweet but inquisitive personality. That does not seem to be the case. Laura is responding to our voices and is trying to interact with her immediate environment. For those of you that have met Laura, you know that means that it will not be long before she figures out how to pull some of those tubes out herself. She is even making her normal noises. Her voice sounds a little horse, but that is not unexpected.
She once again has an N.G. tube for feeding. However, this will not be a permanent thing. We are anxious to be able to start bottle feeding her, so we can get rid of that thing. The C.V.I.C.U. doctors have taken her off of Morphine and put her on a different pain medication. It is not as strong as morphine, but it will be as tough on her stomach. They have also restarted her on the heart medications she was on before her surgery. They want to keep her lungs dry, and decrease her blood pressure so her heart will not have to work as hard. They have also started her on a kidney medication, to help her body naturally drain any excess fluids.
Overall, things continue to progress at a very good pace. I am hoping we will be able to bring Laura home Monday afternoon or evening.
In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path"
Proverbs 3; 6 - 6
Ever since Laura's surgery was first described to us, I have pictured Steve Austin the Bionic man. I have repeatedly heard the narrator's commentary during the open sequence. He would generally say something like "We can rebuild him. We can make him faster, and stronger. We have the technology."
After seeing Laura yesterday with all of the tubes in her, that thought has been nothing but more prevalent. However, today they started removing those tubes. She still has many of them, but having two or three less makes it seem like she is almost back to normal. She still has many tubes in her (mostly to drain fluids that the body might excrete as a result of her surgery), but they continue to come out. The doctors think that they might transfer Laura from the C.V.I.C.U. tomorrow to the normal recovery floor.
What is really cool, is that she is already moving and squirming and wiggling like she was before the surgery. She actually started yesterday evening. The doctors are very impressed and proud of how quickly she is bouncing back. All I can say to this is, God is awesome.
Tara and I are very excited about this. You see we were worried that because of some unknown factor (bad reaction to a drug, defective bypass) that she might suffer brain damage, or some other set back, that would change her very sweet but inquisitive personality. That does not seem to be the case. Laura is responding to our voices and is trying to interact with her immediate environment. For those of you that have met Laura, you know that means that it will not be long before she figures out how to pull some of those tubes out herself. She is even making her normal noises. Her voice sounds a little horse, but that is not unexpected.
She once again has an N.G. tube for feeding. However, this will not be a permanent thing. We are anxious to be able to start bottle feeding her, so we can get rid of that thing. The C.V.I.C.U. doctors have taken her off of Morphine and put her on a different pain medication. It is not as strong as morphine, but it will be as tough on her stomach. They have also restarted her on the heart medications she was on before her surgery. They want to keep her lungs dry, and decrease her blood pressure so her heart will not have to work as hard. They have also started her on a kidney medication, to help her body naturally drain any excess fluids.
Overall, things continue to progress at a very good pace. I am hoping we will be able to bring Laura home Monday afternoon or evening.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Houston we have success . . .
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding
In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path"
Proverbs 3; 6 - 6
Anybody who has known me for very long, knows that Houston Texas is not one of my favorite places. It is far to humid here. The only elevation change is some minor stuff that fluctuates between 50 feet below sea level, to 50 feet above sea level. For those that do not know the history of this town, it is built on a swamp that was converted to rice fields, then into what would become the 4th largest city in the United States of America.
Today, Houston is my favorite place in the whole wide world and all of Gods creation. One of Houston's greatest assets is the Houston Medical Center. Many of the hospitals there are ranked among the world leaders in their various specialties. When walking through any one of the hospitals, it is not uncommon to hear as many as 20 different languages and seemingly innumerable different dialects. People come from all over the world, to be treated at the various hospitals that make up the Houston Medical Center. Doctor's all over the world clamor for the opportunity to be considered for a position at one of these hospitals.
Texas Children's Hospital is among these elite organizations. They are consistently ranked among the best Childrens Hospitals in the world. We have already seen the dedication to caring and excellence once this year, when Laura was first born. Today, we it in action yet again.
At 7:00 am the surgical nurse came to get Laura for her open heart surgery, that was described in a previous post. At 8:00 am we said good bye to her, so that she could be prepped for surgery. We met with the anesthesiologist, surgeon and her cardiologist before her preparation began. 8:00 am began what can only be described as the most agonizingly long day ever.
At about 10:30 am the charge nurse came out, and told us that Laura was doing great and gave us an update on the surgery. She would do this every two hours up to about 3:00 or 3:30 pm. After that time, it would be up to either the surgical nurse or the surgeon himself to give us updates. Each update was like a little nugget of hope, sunshine, gold and dark chocolate all rolled into one. Unfortunately, it also meant another 2 hours before the next update.
At 4:30 pm we were told that Dr. Morales (the surgeon) would want to meet with us. We met about 4:50 or so. He told us that the operation went beautifully and that Laura was doing fine. She would be heading up to the I.C.U., and after that we would be able to see her. We finally got in to see her at about 6:00 pm. I had been preparing myself for a sight that would have covered her entire body in wires and tubes. I had convinced myself that only a little face and hands to be seen. When we saw her it was not nearly as bad as I thought (I kept flashing to Obi-Wan's description of Vader being more machine than man). However, it was still a little disturbing to see all of those wires and tubes running in and out of her. But none the less, there she was. Out like a light. Beautiful.
There were many tears this evening. Some from everyone who was there, and I am sure many more from those who were not. Thank you all for your prayers, kind words of encouragement, gifts, thoughts and support. It has meant the world to Tara, myself and Laura's grandparents. We will never be able to express how much each of you have meant to us during this ordeal. Thank you.
Some of you are probably wondering what is next. This is how I understand it. Each of those wires and tubes is hooked up to something that is helping Laura function. Over the next 24 hours they will begin to scale down that support for her (as she can tolerate it) with the goal being to have Laura functioning on her own. After that, she will remain in the I.C.U. for another day or two for observation. From there, they will send her to the recovery ward (if that is what you still want to call it) where Tara and I, and Laura's grandparents will learn how to care for a 12 week old who has just had open heart surgery. Ideally, she will only be there for a few days. After that she gets to come home. For three to five more weeks she will be pretty much isolated at home (not counting doctor's appointments) until she is properly healed and her immune system is strengthened. Then, with her cardiologist permission, it is back to life as normal.
Today I love this town, and there is no place I would rather be.
Folks, I am telling you prayer works. Laura is living proof of that simple statement. Again, thank you all.
In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path"
Proverbs 3; 6 - 6
Anybody who has known me for very long, knows that Houston Texas is not one of my favorite places. It is far to humid here. The only elevation change is some minor stuff that fluctuates between 50 feet below sea level, to 50 feet above sea level. For those that do not know the history of this town, it is built on a swamp that was converted to rice fields, then into what would become the 4th largest city in the United States of America.
Today, Houston is my favorite place in the whole wide world and all of Gods creation. One of Houston's greatest assets is the Houston Medical Center. Many of the hospitals there are ranked among the world leaders in their various specialties. When walking through any one of the hospitals, it is not uncommon to hear as many as 20 different languages and seemingly innumerable different dialects. People come from all over the world, to be treated at the various hospitals that make up the Houston Medical Center. Doctor's all over the world clamor for the opportunity to be considered for a position at one of these hospitals.
Texas Children's Hospital is among these elite organizations. They are consistently ranked among the best Childrens Hospitals in the world. We have already seen the dedication to caring and excellence once this year, when Laura was first born. Today, we it in action yet again.
At 7:00 am the surgical nurse came to get Laura for her open heart surgery, that was described in a previous post. At 8:00 am we said good bye to her, so that she could be prepped for surgery. We met with the anesthesiologist, surgeon and her cardiologist before her preparation began. 8:00 am began what can only be described as the most agonizingly long day ever.
At about 10:30 am the charge nurse came out, and told us that Laura was doing great and gave us an update on the surgery. She would do this every two hours up to about 3:00 or 3:30 pm. After that time, it would be up to either the surgical nurse or the surgeon himself to give us updates. Each update was like a little nugget of hope, sunshine, gold and dark chocolate all rolled into one. Unfortunately, it also meant another 2 hours before the next update.
At 4:30 pm we were told that Dr. Morales (the surgeon) would want to meet with us. We met about 4:50 or so. He told us that the operation went beautifully and that Laura was doing fine. She would be heading up to the I.C.U., and after that we would be able to see her. We finally got in to see her at about 6:00 pm. I had been preparing myself for a sight that would have covered her entire body in wires and tubes. I had convinced myself that only a little face and hands to be seen. When we saw her it was not nearly as bad as I thought (I kept flashing to Obi-Wan's description of Vader being more machine than man). However, it was still a little disturbing to see all of those wires and tubes running in and out of her. But none the less, there she was. Out like a light. Beautiful.
There were many tears this evening. Some from everyone who was there, and I am sure many more from those who were not. Thank you all for your prayers, kind words of encouragement, gifts, thoughts and support. It has meant the world to Tara, myself and Laura's grandparents. We will never be able to express how much each of you have meant to us during this ordeal. Thank you.
Some of you are probably wondering what is next. This is how I understand it. Each of those wires and tubes is hooked up to something that is helping Laura function. Over the next 24 hours they will begin to scale down that support for her (as she can tolerate it) with the goal being to have Laura functioning on her own. After that, she will remain in the I.C.U. for another day or two for observation. From there, they will send her to the recovery ward (if that is what you still want to call it) where Tara and I, and Laura's grandparents will learn how to care for a 12 week old who has just had open heart surgery. Ideally, she will only be there for a few days. After that she gets to come home. For three to five more weeks she will be pretty much isolated at home (not counting doctor's appointments) until she is properly healed and her immune system is strengthened. Then, with her cardiologist permission, it is back to life as normal.
Today I love this town, and there is no place I would rather be.
Folks, I am telling you prayer works. Laura is living proof of that simple statement. Again, thank you all.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Ladies & Gentlemen start your waiting
"trust in the Lord with all ofyoir heart and lean not on your own understanding in all of your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path"
Proverbs 3; 6 - 6
Well it is 9:30 pm on Tuesday September 8th. We have been at TCH since 7:30 am. Wehave been in our room since about 2:00 pm. Needless to say we are exhausted. Laura has come through it all like a champ. I wish I had her stamina, strength and ability to sleep at less than a moments notice.
She has had a trying day today. She went through the normal weight (over 12 pounds), length (over 22 inches) and pulse when we checked in. She also had her blood oxygen level checked. This not unusual for her. We then had to have blood drawn. This was not fun, to say the least. It took three nurses and over an hour to draw the needed blood. Laura was not a happy camper. The rest of the testing went well. X-Ray, EKG, more blood oxygen levels all went smoothly. We even got to have lunch.
At about 2:00 pm we were admitted to the hospital. We are first up for surgery tomorrow at 8:00 am. They will come and get her to prep her for the surgery at 7:00 am. This means another early day tomorrow (we were up at 5:30 am today). I am not looking forward to that time.
Please keep praying for Laura, her various medical teams and her family. We all need it.
Good night.
Proverbs 3; 6 - 6
Well it is 9:30 pm on Tuesday September 8th. We have been at TCH since 7:30 am. Wehave been in our room since about 2:00 pm. Needless to say we are exhausted. Laura has come through it all like a champ. I wish I had her stamina, strength and ability to sleep at less than a moments notice.
She has had a trying day today. She went through the normal weight (over 12 pounds), length (over 22 inches) and pulse when we checked in. She also had her blood oxygen level checked. This not unusual for her. We then had to have blood drawn. This was not fun, to say the least. It took three nurses and over an hour to draw the needed blood. Laura was not a happy camper. The rest of the testing went well. X-Ray, EKG, more blood oxygen levels all went smoothly. We even got to have lunch.
At about 2:00 pm we were admitted to the hospital. We are first up for surgery tomorrow at 8:00 am. They will come and get her to prep her for the surgery at 7:00 am. This means another early day tomorrow (we were up at 5:30 am today). I am not looking forward to that time.
Please keep praying for Laura, her various medical teams and her family. We all need it.
Good night.
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